Weaboo
A Weaboo 'is a foreigner (外人 ''gaijin) non-japanese citizen who has an awakened japanese spirit (大和魂 yamatodamashii) within them. '''Description Within all peoples of the world, there exists an inner spirit that extols the virtues and culture of Japan (日本流 nipponryuu). This Japanese Spirit is called Yamato Damashii. The Yamato Damashii is inherently active in all Japanese people (日本人 nihonjin) , and its power was so great that it once shook the entirety of the world. This was soon opposed by western powers (西欧列強 Seiō rekkyō) and reduced to its current state, becoming a latent force in most of the youth today. However, such great power does not rest quietly. The cultural revolution of Japan is but a manifestation of its latent capabilities, transforming individuals in strange and wonderful ways. When exposed to japanese culture, the latent yamato damashii within a person may undergo a new awakening (新目覚め shin mezame) and be transformed. When a Yamato Damashii awakens in a Gaijin, he is transformed into a Weaboo - despite not being of Japan (日本 nippon), he is capable of channeling japanese virtues and powers. (日本人の力 nihonjin no chikara) However, since weaboos do not possess japanese blood (日本人の血 nihonjin no chi), this force actually causes aberrations in the body and the mind. They may suddenly have outbursts, speaking in tongues (most likely 日本語 nihongo) and alienating themselves from the community and culture of which they were once a part. This social disparity causes much anxiety in many weaboos, whose burning yamato damashii calls them on the path of japanification (日本化 nihon-ka). At the end of this path, their yamato damashii burns so brightly, that they have unquestionably become children of yamato (大和の子'' yamato no ko''). This calling is mostly a subconscious one, though a consortium of weaboos have created a ranking system to measure one's yamatodamashii. This system is called the "Power Level". (力レベル chikara reberu) '力レベル Power Levels' The yamatodamashii within weaboos can be measured with over 30 ranks (位 i'', 位階 ''ikai), to determine each one's state on the path of nihon-ka. These ranks can be determined by observing the symptoms shown by the weaboo, that in turn reveal how japanized the weaboo is. However, it may be difficult to determine a weaboo's exact rank because many practice sublimation (昇華 shoka) to hide their power levels from prying eyes. The highest rank in the system was the first rank (一位 ich-i), proceeding downwards to the eighth rank (八位 hachi-i), held by entry-level weaboos. Below this, an initial rank called so-i (初位) existed, but were saved for baka gaijins (バカ外人). The top six ranks were considered true aristocracy (貴 ki), and were subdivided into "senior" (正　''shō'') and "junior" (従 ju) ranks (e.g. senior　third-rank [正三位 shō san-mi], junior second-rank [従二位 ju ni-i] ). Below the third rank, a further subdivision between "upper" (上 jō) and "lower" (下 ge) existed, allowing for ranks such as “junior fourth rank lower” (従四位下 ju shi-i no ge) or “senior sixth rank upper” (正六位上 shō roku-i no jō). Promotion in ranks was often a very gradual, expensive process, and in the early days of the Internets, one could not advance beyond sixth rank except by rare exception, thus causing a natural cut-off point between the aristrocrats (fifth-rank and above [貴族 kizoku]) and the casuals (sixth-rank and below [地下 jige]). 一位 First Rank The first rank, known as ichi-i, is the highest level of Yamato Damashii a weaboo can attain. The Yamato Damashii is completely at peace with the body and mind, and one is unquestionably a yamato no ko. At this level, the title 'weaboo' is typically shed away as the ex-weaboo has become a nihonjin. 正一位 shō ichi-i "Senior First Rank" This is the highest rank among all the ranks, saved for those fortunate to have been born with nihonjin no chi and have awakened their Yamato Damashii. They are also almost always legally Japanese citizens. They are born with the ability to channel the inherent power within all japanese, such as Rolling Buddha Thunder (鳴仏雷 meifutsu kaminari) for men and Eternally Seventeen (永遠に17 eien ni 17) for women, as opposed to training in all the weaboo ways. *Sho is of the'' shō ichi-i'' rank, and his yamato damashii brightly burns like the full glory of the rising sun. (朝日 asahi) 従一位 ju ichi-i "Junior First Rank" is the highest level a gaijin can attain, though there are rumors of some who have become'' sho ichi-i'' by sheer dint of Yamato Damashii, gaining nihonjin no chi in the process. This level is attained by casting away one's false nationality and gaining a japanese name. Legally, one must naturalize and be recognized as a Japanese citizen. At this point, The Yamato Damashii achieves its zen (禅) and one at this rank has become a nihonjin. The weaboo is considered to have completed his nihon-ka. 二位 Second Rank The second rank, ni-i, is considered by most to be the farthest most dedicated weaboo can ever attain in their lifetime. One can gain this rank by attempting a pilgrimage to Japan out of one's own love for Japan and its culture. (as opposed to business or other non-Yamato Damashii reasons) The senior level is achieved when one decides to live there, and work towards nihon-ka. 正二位 shō ni-i "Senior Second Rank". Achieved when one begins to work towards crossing the final threshold (最後のしきい値 saigo no shikichi). The person lives in Japan and works there, carrying all the lessons of the previous levels. *Sempai, the mythic King of Ayepeessian Weaboos, is at this level. His Yamato Damashii is as a fraction of Amaterasu-no-omikami's light peering from a dark cave. 従二位 ju ni-i "Junior Second Rank". Achieved when one has made a holy pilgrimage to Nippon ''out of love for its people or its culture. Reasons may vary, but COMIKET and AKB48 Concerts are the most likely reasons. * The King of Derps finally achieved this rank giving him credibility in the eyes of other weeabs, but is a known deviant on the jigo-jisho path, so it probably doesn't help his case. '自悟自証 jigo-jishō This term means "Self-awakened and self-certified". There is an alternative sect of Weaboos who use a different kind of Power Level - these are the hermits and the sages who have achieved mystic feats without performing the pilgrimages. Their Yamato Damashii has been tempered without striving for nihon-ka, instead deviating from the path. They too have a ranking system, but it is more of a general outline of their capabilities and raw force of Yamato Damashii, rather than a measure of their japanification. The color scheme represents the color of their Yamato Damashii as it deviates from the light of Amaterasu to achieve a different awakening. 大徳 Daitoku The Greater Virtue. The highest rank of the deviant Weaboo mystics. Weaboo Mystics at this rank are virtuous enough to wear schoolgirl mizugi (スクール水着) in public without any shame, or have been appointed "Emperor" (天皇 tenno) by their peers in the waifu sect. They usually have marvelous palaces that are filled with the source of their shin mezame, usually anime figurines or idol paraphernalia. 小徳 Shōtoku The Lesser Virtue. Shotoku have now dedicated their lives to an aspect of Japanese culture, and have amassed a wealth of shin mezame sources. Such people have become sages to other weaboos who have deviated from the standard path. They tend to have a fondness for Timotei. 昇華 Shoka' "Sublimation", the practice of moderating one's Yamatodamashii in order to better live in harmony with one's own culture. Many weaboos have been ostracized for their uncontrolled ''yamatodamashii, and thus have either failed to achieve nihon-ka as a result of such difficult environments, or have had the flames of the rising sun within vanquished. (usually in a violent manner) However, this practice was made as a way for Weaboos to maintain their yamatodamashii, yet still live without being ostracized by their native societies. Sublimation is a discipline where weaboos repress and 'hide' their power level. They limit the glow of the yamatodamashii within, first by abstaining from contact with japanese culture and works - thus limiting the shinmezame that makes their yamato damashii grow brightly. They also consciously control their outbursts of garbled nihongo by practicing presence of mind (泰然自若 taisen jijaku). However, they make sure to mindfully nurture the yamatodamashii by continuing on the path to nihon-ka - just within private spaces. Jigo-jisho mystics may also practice shoka, but their pursuit of experience-based enlightenment and the bright, different colors of their yamatodamashii makes this a rare case. It is said, however, that full mastery of shoka allows one to pursue the advancement of Yamatodamashii without needing to hide nor limit the brightness within. Whereas weaboos may deny or accuse each other of weabooness, a true master of shoka never has this problem. The art was made due to internecine conflicts within the weaboo societies.